“Women For Gender Roles In Ghana”, a local organization filled with patriarchal princesses committed to perpetuating male dominance have issued an official statement protesting rice cookers, dish washers, and other house-hold appliances for threatening their marital homes. In the released statement, the fearful women complained that technological advances usurped their entire life purpose of humbly providing domestic services to men as a mechanism for respect. “As women we exist to clean and cook for men in marriages,” the leader of the organization stated, “if these machines keep doing our jobs why would men continue to marry us?”
In a press conference that announced plans for protest, other members espoused similar sentiments. Members argued that as upper middle class women without any talents, their only hope in life was to find helpless, incompetent men to marry and to serve. And if these household appliances continued to take their jobs, they would be forced to write stern letters, conduct boycotts, and march against rice cookers as retaliation.
“As married women we are here to fix their plates, iron their trousers, and re-enact what their mothers did for them as children. That is the only way they will love us,” a representative bemoaned, “However, the invention of several household appliances with the power to conduct these services, have replaced our utility, thus threatening our marriages.”
The official statement ended with an urgent plea to manufacturers to discontinue the production of advanced household appliances that cook, clean, and wash clothes. Begging, they stated:
“Ultimately we are desperate for men’s love and approval. We are here to be of use to them. And if we as women cannot provide any services to men, we will have no purpose as humans. That is why we are protesting these machines, so we can go back to moping floors to maintain our marriages.”
The official protest is scheduled for next Friday at 5 PM, within the intersections of “Lost Cause” and “Little Self-Esteem.”